After I said “I love you”
you hid your face in your mother’s chest
and said “I want to see him drive away.”
“I can’t leave yet,” I said.
I returned to our classroom
to move the toys into storage
and collect my belongings.
And then suddenly I understood what you meant.
I raced down the stairs and outside to the parking lot
but your car was no longer there.
I stood alone, shivering in the hot August sun.
I want you to watch me drive away,
to control your destiny like a three year old cannot do:
that was how you said “I love you”.
For Lauren Kelly, 8/21/98